How to Paint your Dragon, and Survive Too!

     If you want to paint a dragon, and survive to tell the tale, there are a few steps you must take. First, you have to find a dragon; however, do not attempt use a local guide because none of them are that stupid. Once you have located a dragon's territory, you must set up a remote-controlled catapult, and a bait location with a pressure plate to trigger said catapult. For bait, use some succulent "human" with ketchup; real human works best. Then, you must lay down some fake scent, and a fake trail, in case the dragon does not faint from the smell of paint. Be sure not to leave your own scent on anything. Remember to set up a few high quality cameras with a remote feed so that you can enjoy the show for years to come. If you're lucky, you may even get to retrieve the equipment. Next, make sure everything is camouflaged well, get the hell out of there, wait for nighttime, as this is when the dragons come out, and watch your remote feeds. You must use really bright and annoying colors, preferably neon green, or orange. Congratulations! You have painted a dragon and, if you're lucky, survived!